I am a beard. By the virtue of my being, I am elated to point that I am not one of the confused, degraded species called 'man'. At this point, I am liable to declare that eccentric beard scientist Dr. Hangenstien, has pointed out a possibility of man's contribution in the very origin of us beards. In his quests for creating a perfect specimen of beard species(code name Hangenstien , unimaginative I think), he postulated the pre-requisite existence of a 'man' specimen. His theories were of course met with skepticism and rejected with as little interest by beard community as the innocent fresh growth of one of our species is rejected by the busy, big firm, suit covered, executives of this 'man' species. These particular few very often even go to the lengths of proudly displaying the extents of their evil pursuits by christening themselves as MBA, which as per our latest research spells "Merciless Beard Attacker", horrific!
By now, you are sure to have perceived, and unmistakably I must add, beards' contempt for 'man'. That might pretty much be the center of today's dialogue. You see, we beards are in general very docile and content beings. "Grow, and let grow" yes, thats what we say and strive to practice. However, 'man' has throughout history, considered beard as an ornament detached from the normal everyday life. We have a status of out-of the way, edge of the town property in the facial real estate, abstract and obsolete entities. If not, why is it that most of our fellows who can boast flowing, unrestrained braids and impressive length are accompanied invariably by so called poets, artists, young aimless rebels, spiritual leaders and revolutionaries. This goes against all we beards stand. You see, us beards are nothing but practical and just want to get on with our lives. Yet as you read, twenty three thousand beards all over the world are being used every millisecond as mere conduits of vague, irrational thoughts and dreams by unworthy, lost souls of poets and artists. What a disgrace! imagine living as that beard. These so called thinkers also take fair amount of amusement in the incessant stroking of their unhappy, weary beards while driveling on during a conversation over opium and rotten chunks of bread in dark, smelly and desolate dwellings of such beings and due to the cruel syntax of this world, their ever so worthy and discontented beards.
However, in cruelty and reckless barbarism towards us beards, their is no other species as brutal as the species call 'Woman'. Despite all of man's attempts in disgracing beards and ruining their purposeful lives, at least some let their beard live a long life. But the woman species seem to be born with the sole purpose of clearing the name of beards as species from our historical records. A woman however, is highly deceptive as they walk, talk and act in a similar way as a man. But, make no mistake, give the woman a beard and she transforms into a barbaric butcher and an exquisite murderer, she cuts her beard with stone-cold blade and intention of forethought. Even in herds, woman's beards seem to gather unwanted remarks and unsought attention, how absurd! Woman however, doesn't even stop there. Many of my comrades tell terrifying tales of a woman specimen coaxing a man specimen to part with his beard. Yes, woman ostensibly possesses a manipulative power over the species man and they don't shy away from using these powers to achieve their misjudged and malignant motives against us beards.
We beards are dumbstruck and hopeless on seeing woman's hatred for us. But, we still have hopes from Man. These hopes are often quashed however like those of a visionary beard called 'Litler'. He dreamed of a world where all beards and all men will live together happily with long, amicable and fluent threads of facial hair indeed acting as the common fabric of equality and camaraderie among all men. As historical records show however, this noble beard was shaved off by its imbecile grower and replaced mockingly by a mean, angry and puny mustache known as 'Titler'. The man accused here was known as 'Hitler' and went on exploiting even other beards. Therefore, even though man's past has been filled with disloyalty & plain thoughtlessness and insinuates their cold attitude, I take this occasion to appeal for mercy and compassion to any male souls still untouched by their own impure thoughts longing for facial smoothness and also by any woman's clever tricks. In this scape, I have come up with a new motto for men and beards - "Live and let grow (your beard)".
"Many thanks".
By now, you are sure to have perceived, and unmistakably I must add, beards' contempt for 'man'. That might pretty much be the center of today's dialogue. You see, we beards are in general very docile and content beings. "Grow, and let grow" yes, thats what we say and strive to practice. However, 'man' has throughout history, considered beard as an ornament detached from the normal everyday life. We have a status of out-of the way, edge of the town property in the facial real estate, abstract and obsolete entities. If not, why is it that most of our fellows who can boast flowing, unrestrained braids and impressive length are accompanied invariably by so called poets, artists, young aimless rebels, spiritual leaders and revolutionaries. This goes against all we beards stand. You see, us beards are nothing but practical and just want to get on with our lives. Yet as you read, twenty three thousand beards all over the world are being used every millisecond as mere conduits of vague, irrational thoughts and dreams by unworthy, lost souls of poets and artists. What a disgrace! imagine living as that beard. These so called thinkers also take fair amount of amusement in the incessant stroking of their unhappy, weary beards while driveling on during a conversation over opium and rotten chunks of bread in dark, smelly and desolate dwellings of such beings and due to the cruel syntax of this world, their ever so worthy and discontented beards.
However, in cruelty and reckless barbarism towards us beards, their is no other species as brutal as the species call 'Woman'. Despite all of man's attempts in disgracing beards and ruining their purposeful lives, at least some let their beard live a long life. But the woman species seem to be born with the sole purpose of clearing the name of beards as species from our historical records. A woman however, is highly deceptive as they walk, talk and act in a similar way as a man. But, make no mistake, give the woman a beard and she transforms into a barbaric butcher and an exquisite murderer, she cuts her beard with stone-cold blade and intention of forethought. Even in herds, woman's beards seem to gather unwanted remarks and unsought attention, how absurd! Woman however, doesn't even stop there. Many of my comrades tell terrifying tales of a woman specimen coaxing a man specimen to part with his beard. Yes, woman ostensibly possesses a manipulative power over the species man and they don't shy away from using these powers to achieve their misjudged and malignant motives against us beards.
We beards are dumbstruck and hopeless on seeing woman's hatred for us. But, we still have hopes from Man. These hopes are often quashed however like those of a visionary beard called 'Litler'. He dreamed of a world where all beards and all men will live together happily with long, amicable and fluent threads of facial hair indeed acting as the common fabric of equality and camaraderie among all men. As historical records show however, this noble beard was shaved off by its imbecile grower and replaced mockingly by a mean, angry and puny mustache known as 'Titler'. The man accused here was known as 'Hitler' and went on exploiting even other beards. Therefore, even though man's past has been filled with disloyalty & plain thoughtlessness and insinuates their cold attitude, I take this occasion to appeal for mercy and compassion to any male souls still untouched by their own impure thoughts longing for facial smoothness and also by any woman's clever tricks. In this scape, I have come up with a new motto for men and beards - "Live and let grow (your beard)".
"Many thanks".





